Del Rio News Herald

One of the most admirable qualities of the people along the Border is their ability to laugh at each other’s ways, language, food etc. We imitate each other’s dialectal deviations with no remorse or guilt whatsoever.

I suppose that this is one of the reasons that we bond with one another so well. I have a teacher friend that is “retarded” no, not retarded, RETIRED! One of her hobbies is the collection of jokes and from time to time she thinks of me and sends them electronically.

Some of you oldies will remember Cristobal Aldrete, our first Hispanic American City Councilman in Del Rio. Well, he was a well-known attorney who also was credited with having a filing cabinet filled with jokes that were filed and characterized by theme. He also was known to poke fun at his heritage, as well as, the Spanish language.

My teacher friend sent me these vocabulary words found in a “Mexican Dictionary” :

BODY WASH: “I cant go to the cantina tonite ‘cuz nobody WASH my kidz!”

SHOULDER: “My Tia wanted to become a citizen, but she didn’t know how to read so I SHOULDER!”

COCKATOO: “My friend was in the bathroom & I tld him to hurry ‘cuz I had to go COCKATOO”

SODAS: “My vieja has a big butt and SODAS her sister.

JUICY: “Hay vato, I roll the joint… and… ju tell me if JUICY the cops.”

JUAREZ: My vieja, she slapped me nd I said, ‘JUAREZ ur problem?’

TISSUE: “Hey vato, if u dnt know how to read, let me TISSUE how!”

HEATER: My lil sister started to choke…Pero my mom tld me to Heater in the back hard!”

BRIEF: “Hey, Juan my grandma farted in da car… nd I couldn’t BRIEF!”

JULY: “Ju tol me ju were goin to da store…but…JULY to me!”

MUSHROOM: “Wen my familia ges in da car theres not MUSHROOM left!!”

Thank you for enjoying these little viñettes that poke fun at how some people of Hispanic descent pronounce the words and they totally sound funny. Of course, there are many more that are a little colorful and are not suitable for virgin ears!

I pray that I did not offend anyone and if you were able to get the gist, that you enjoyed laughing as much as I have.

Talking about laughing, I was recalling the other day about all the fun I had when I lived behind the Old San Felipe Bakery on the corner of Cantu and Cisneros street.

Terry Hernandez DeBinski told me that she and I spent many hours playing on the sidewalk and the street until I would get a “little bossy!” Terry is a direct descendant of an old family that contributed greatly to the economy of San Felipe and also to the tradition of the “Pan Dulce Mexicano”

The Hernandez family were bakers and they were the best. For many years they dominated the business of Pan Dulce Mexicano. Their stores were located on Andrade Street, Garza Street and on Cantu Street, too.

Of great significance was the fact that they practiced the “Pilón System” in all of their stores. “Pilón” is a Spanish word brought to us from Spain in the 1530’s that means “extra gift for choosing to do business with us.”

This practice has long been abandoned, but some places in Del Rio still thank their customers with an extra treat.

I read an article that described what I want to share with my readers about Pan Dulce. I found it in some old newspaper archives from the San Antonio Express and News, 1972, by Jane Terry, “Mexican Style Food Reflects S. A. Heritage.

Terry stated that the sweet bread ranged from the thin, crisp buñuelos sprinkled with sugar and cinnamon, to fruits such as pineapple, to the delightful pan dulce made from many different kinds of dough dictated by the shape of the pastry and also the season.

I believe that this bread varies from baker to baker and from texture to texture. The dough, of course, makes the difference in the final look and taste. These breads vary and many are still found in Del Rio.

There is a panadería on Garza Street one block east of Our Lady of Guadalupe Church called LA LUZ and then there is one on Highway 90 East next to Sonny’s Drive Inn. Their Mexican bread is great.

I believe that it is fun to pick out the pieces of bread such as El Caracol (the snail shape filled with jelly); La Piña, (the pineapple yellow-colored sugar paste with octagonal design;

La Concha, the shell, (egg bread with fan shaped design); Las Perlas, (the pearls, topped with shiny loose sugar paste; Los Nudos (the knots, filled with a buttery paste and tied in knots); Los Cuernos (the horns, cinnamon flavor, sugar covered);

Chilindrinas, the bright ones round bread covered with shining sugar, polviadas (powdered ones) and of course, Semitas de Nuez, Semitas de Manteca and Semitas de Anis.

The Marranitos are the remnants of our Sephardic Jewish ancestors who were depicted as pigs because they would not convert to Catholicism. The Marranito to this day is made and sold along the Borderlands of Texas. El Mollete orejón is a bun that looks like an ear lobe and tastes like a Campechana.

If you travel into the Southern part of Mexico the marranito does not exist.

I suppose I should end this viñette with the Pan Bolillo. This is what is called “French Bread” in English; but for many of us along the Texas Borderlands, it gives reference to a group of people who migrated to Texas to acquire the free land that was being awarded to people that wanted to settle Texas.

Life is short! Enjoy what time you have to the fullest! Remember yesterday, only to grace your future with God’s favor! Do what is right, because if you don’t, the truth will come out when you least expect it!

Thank you for enjoying this pedacito de dulce! (…piece of sweetness.)

For comments please

e-mail me at:

dszertuche(at)hotmail.com

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Serving Del Rio and Val Verde County since 1929

A Southern Newspapers publication.