Dot High Steed

Dot High School

In honor of Father’s Day this Sunday, I would like to say a special thanks to my father for being such a powerful godly influence in my life and to my husband, Mike, who is a wonderful godly father and grandfather to our children and grandchildren.

And to all you, fathers out there, who may sometimes think that you don’t measure up, but rest assured you are very important to the health and welfare of your children by being present and involved in their lives.

I would like to share this research about a father’s love. I personally believe that our heavenly Father designed the role of earthly fathers to replicate and demonstrate His love to all mankind, so science is catching up with the original plan for God for fathers.

Here’s the scientific study:

A father’s love contributes as much – and sometimes more – to a child’s development as does a mother’s love. That is one of many findings in a new large-scale analysis of research about the power of parental rejection and acceptance in shaping our personalities as children and into adulthood.

“In our half-century of international research, we’ve not found any other class of experience that has as strong and consistent effect on personality and personality development as does the experience of rejection, especially by parents in childhood,” says Ronald Rohner of the University of Connecticut. “Children and adults everywhere – regardless of differences in race, culture, and gender – tend to respond in exactly the same way when they perceived themselves to be rejected by their caregivers and other attachment figures.”

Looking at 36 studies from around the world that together involved more than 10,000 participants, Rohner and co-author Abdul Khaleque found that in response to rejection by their parents, children tend to feel more anxious and insecure, as well as more hostile and aggressive toward others.

The pain of rejection – especially when it occurs over a period of time in childhood – tends to linger into adulthood, making it more difficult for adults who were rejected as children to form secure and trusting relationships with their intimate partners.

Moreover, Rohner says, emerging evidence from the past decade of research in psychology and neuroscience is revealing that the same parts of the brain are activated when people feel rejected as are activated when they experience physical pain.

“Unlike physical pain, however, people can psychologically re-live the emotional pain of rejection over and over for years,” Rohner says.

When it comes to the impact of a father’s love versus that of a mother, results from more than 500 studies suggest that while children and adults often experience more or less the same level of acceptance or rejection from each parent, the influence of one parent’s rejection – oftentimes the father’s – can be much greater than the other’s.

One important take-home message from all this research, Rohner says, is that fatherly love is critical to a person’s development. The importance of a father’s love should help motivate many men to become more involved in nurturing child care.

“The great emphasis on mothers and mothering in America has led to an inappropriate tendency to blame mothers for children’s behavior problems and maladjustment when, in fact, fathers are often more implicated than mothers in the development of problems such as these.”

Note to fathers:

Please consider the important role that you play in your family. Your daughters are forming views of themselves based on how you relate to them, and your sons are watching you to learn how to act as a man.

Allow the Lord to teach you how to be a godly father.

If you are looking to Him for guidance, He will equip you to be the best dad that your children could ever have.

Father’s Day

As Father’s Day approaches this weekend, take some time to thank him. If your father has already gone on before you, take some time to recall memories of him.

Share these memories with your family so that he will live on in your hearts. If you need to forgive your Dad of emotional wounds from the past, do so quickly to free yourself to become the person our heavenly Father created you to be.

To your health and happiness,

Dot High-Steed is a health and life coach, who has over 25 years of experience in health/wellness, business and education.

Dot may be reached at:

Recommended for you

(0) comments

Welcome to the discussion.

Keep it Clean. Please avoid obscene, vulgar, lewd, racist or sexually-oriented language.
PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK.
Don't Threaten. Threats of harming another person will not be tolerated.
Be Truthful. Don't knowingly lie about anyone or anything.
Be Nice. No racism, sexism or any sort of -ism that is degrading to another person.
Be Proactive. Use the 'Report' link on each comment to let us know of abusive posts.
Share with Us. We'd love to hear eyewitness accounts, the history behind an article.